Tag Archives: Luis Exposito

Tired, but not tired enough.

I really should be asleep right now. In the morning, let’s say around 8, I plan on going to the gym again.

Yes, you naysayers, I really did join a gym.

So remember this post about search engine terms? I just rehashed the whole thing, and decided to see what the deal is with consumers spending time and money at Ethel’s. After a brief Google search, I found out that search term is a question related to an exercise out of a marketing textbook.

Click here to see why people search for it: they are trying to find the answer.

However, if that’s the only person available to write an essay for me and help me plagiarize, I’m going to just do it myself. Why would you trust someone who takes a class called “Principals of Marketing”? I don’t know these principals, and I don’t know why they are so high and mighty about controlling marketing, but I don’t trust them.

I don’t trust them one bit.

I say we send them back to their schools and they can be principals of children instead of marketing.

If we learn anything from this, kids, let it be that we should always do our own work and not trust answers we find on shady websites.

Next, I searched for “alopecia Asian comics,” one of the more perplexing search terms to lead a tired internet traveler to my blog. The first search result was … this blog. I’m probably the only person in the world who has ever used the phrase “alopecia Asian comics” all together and for a purpose (not to disguise an e-mail that is actually trying to sell you Viagra).

A picture of Patrick Stewart is the first image to pop up with a search for "alopecia Asian comics."

The next result is a prayer message board. Okay, that makes sense. An Asian has alopecia, and they want prayer, and someone posts a comic to cheer him up. Super.

Next is an info page about Manga.

But a couple results down and we have this gem. What does Naomi Campbell’s ruined hair have to do with anything? It’s about as left-field as Luis Exposito.

It is sad. But not related to my blog, or alopecia Asian comics.

And not as sad as this blog.

Search engine terms.

Last night I decided to do something I haven’t done in a while: monitor the search terms by which people find my blog.

Here are a few of my favorites:

  • Gargamel (This bad boy generated 138 views so far!)
  • accep tulip (Maybe I could “accept” one?)
  • cyanide and happiness fart
  • toothpaste cyanide (What are you people planning?)
  • thunderbird for cheap pay (Sorry to disappoint you.)
  • farting in the office
  • swine flu cover up for something else (Like Captain Trips? Then you’re in the right place!)
  • luis exposito (This just makes me laugh.)
  • start shaving (How dare you tell me how to live my life?)
  • whole foods ethel (I do love Whole Foods.)
  • professional beauty products (Again, sorry to disappoint.)
  • pugs toothpastefordinner punched (What kind of sick people are you that you want to punch pugs?)
  • alopecia Asian comics (LOL)
  • the factors that influence a consumer to spend money and time at ethel’s.
  • jelly wrestling lolcat (I wish!)

So there you have it. Apparently the people looking for my blog enjoy shopping for professional beauty products online, reading internet comics, farting, Gargamel, tulips, purchasing cars and telling racist jokes about people with physical defects.

Now I just need to meet this Luis Exposito character and my life will be complete.

He's a catcher, apparently.

According to the Baseball Cube, he’s a minor league prospect for the Red Sox. Okay, sounds great, but how did someone searching for him find my blog? I did a Google search, and my blog comes up on the ninth page. How is this possible? I haven’t written about the guy until today.

Now I have a goal in my life: meet and confront Luis Exposito, and ask him why a Google search for him sent someone to my blog.