Eggplant panties.


I opened my blog up for topic suggestions again.

The first came from Whitney: “going broke buying organic food because it’s ‘better.'”

The second is from Tori: “Underwear.”

The third came from me: “Using organic food as underwear?”

If there are two things I think are too expensive, it’s underwear and organic food.

But I can’t really seem to make these things work together, at least not in terms of a productive post. I do, however, have a story for you about underwear. So sit back (Tori) and enjoy. Your request is granted.

I don’t buy a lot of expensive underwear. I have a price limit set in my head for certain things so I don’t spend too much or go over my budget for each month. Most of these price limits are set on clothes, but it extends out to food, drinks, movies, CDs, memberships to organizations, and more things of which I probably haven’t even thought yet.

I broke my underwear price limit right before Christmas, and in return that item broke yesterday.

I hadn’t shopped at Victoria’s Secret in a long time, and I went with my friend Kelsay (suggester of this post) when she needed some new underroos. When I walked into the store I promised myself that I wouldn’t buy anything.

The last thing I purchased there was a strapless bra that turned out to be a total nightmare because it was — get ready for this — just a giant sticker. Girls with boobs over a B cup should not be wearing sticker bras. Sorry.

As I walked through the store and helped her pick out a couple of things, I saw a really cute bra that really seemed to fit my style. It was adorable, with stars and black straps and a satin-y fabric. The only problem seemed to be that it cost $52. However, after walking around a bit and looking at several other bras, I decided that I deserved it. It was my graduation present to myself.

Since purchasing the bra, I’ve worn it maybe five times. I’m terrified to wash it, and it’s the only bra I’ve ever owned that I don’t put in the dryer; I hang it up instead.

So you can imagine my dismay when I pulled the damn thing from the washer yesterday, hung it up to dry, went to put it on and found that one of the hooks is bent. In fact, it’s so badly bent that I can no longer wear the bra.

Thanks for nothing, Victoria’s Secret. Thanks for a bra I wore about five times before it broke. Thanks for making adorable, $52 underwear that isn’t as durable as my $35 bra from Lane Bryant. Most of all, thanks for proving to me that my budgeting works.

I’m super careful when it comes to money, and as a result I like to be especially careful with how I spend it. Every purchase is precious when you have $22 in your checking account, so that bra just kind of made me go off the deep end.

I have resolved to question every purchase I make with the kind of care I use when editing an article.

I bought a new type of deodorant, Dove Smoothing Effects or some such nonsense, and it makes my armpits smell like dry cat food by the end of the day, so I’m not going to buy it anymore.

I bought a new type of shampoo — actually, a shampoo/conditioner combo. It’s Herbal Essences, so I thought it would be of pretty high quality. I was wrong. It’s not of high quality. It leaves my hair flat and lifeless, which is odd considering it should be adding volume. My hair is flat and lifeless without the shampoo. I paid about $5 for that at Target, then went and bought a $1.50 bottle of Suave instead. The Suave works better. Go figure.

So now we come to the organic foods. Contrary to what we talked about on Facebook, I cannot condone using organic foods as underwear. Sometimes I have to take a stand, and right now I’m going to take a stand against organic edible panties. If anything wearable is going to be made organic, it should be candy necklaces. If you pay $7 for one eggplant, you should eat it in a grand way, not slice it up to use as pasties.

Any way you slice it — har har — I just can’t rationalize paying more money for something that essentially is the same as something else. And I don’t think I’m wrong. If you can prove to me that organic foods are worth the money Whole Foods wants me to spend on them, then by all means give me your proof. Until then, I will continue to buy locally-grown produce over something “organic” that’s grown in another state.

Wow … this post really is all over the place, isn’t it?

So what say you, readers? What’s the worst purchase you’ve ever made?

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8 responses to “Eggplant panties.

  1. One of the worst purchases I’ve ever made must be the Slap ‘n chop. I didn’t buy it from the TV-channel, it was in a store but it was the same one as the guy had in the ad. It was $19 wasted bucks. Most people must have seen the ad, how easy it looked when he chopped an onion … he didn’t even peel it. Liar! It doesn’t work … the onion immediately sticks in the knife.

    This post was so entertaining and really put a smile on my face. There are many awful shampoos that do terrible things to your hair. L’Oreal had a GOOD shampoo … came in one of those pump bottles, but that is no more. Of course.

    Dove soap [bar soap] prides itself of containing 1/4 moisturizing cream, or whatever. Nothing is so dehydrating as Dove soap. Still … I buy it because it smells so good. I have one going now, and my hands are all cracked from dehydration LOL

    I don’t care about all that organic stuff. It’s too pricey, and I can’t justify buying those environment friendly detergents either for the same reason. It’s just not right — it should be the other way around — people should be encouraged to be environment friendly.

    • My parents bought a Slap Chop, and my mom was so excited. The first time she used it, the blade got caught in the tomato and she had to pull it out. On the commercial it shows the blade slicing through like nobody’s business, but in real life it just doesn’t work like that.

      I really need to find a good shampoo I can use regularly. I’m so tired of trying different ones. My biggest problem is that I’m afraid to spend too much on something, then not like it — as is the case with the Herbal Essences stuff.

      Glad I could put a smile on your face!

  2. A sticker bra? That’s brilliant. I’m with you–Victoria’s Secret underwear is adorable, but my pocket book prefers the $10 variety from Target.

    Funny post today!

    • The Target bras are great, but I really like Lane Bryant’s stuff. They’re not as expensive as Victoria’s Secret, and I can wear the hell out of them without the hooks bending or the under wire breaking.

  3. I make terrible purchases all the time. We joke that I am the Return Queen. If something doesn’t work, or I have buyers remorse, I will take anything back that I possibly can.

    What you can do to prevent bad things from happening to your undergarments is to buy one of those mesh zippered bags. I buy mine from the dollar stores & they work just fine. Throw your bras & what-not in there, & when you put them in the washing machine, they won’t get caught on anything or hurt. I learned this after ruining a few things I was very sad about.

    Thank you for the laugh by the way! I’m glad to have aided enough to be able to read this. You have talent lady. See ya at the wedding 🙂

  4. My worst purchases tend to come whenever I buy food ironically: to commemorate the anniversary of Elvis’ birth or death or recording of the seminal Elvis in Memphis, some candy bar company came out with an Elvis-themed candy bar: chocolate, peanut butter, and banana flavoring kind of molded together into a candy bar shape. I only took one bite and couldn’t get the taste out of my mouth for hours. It got worse when I went home to brush my teeth with my Green Tea and Honey toothpaste, another ironic purchase.

    • When we had a World Market nearby, I would make ironic food purchases all the time. They rarely turned out well. But honestly, an Elvis-themed candy bar? How could that ever be good? It makes my stomach turn thinking about it. Although, I do enjoy peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, and for some reason this is making me want to try it with some Nutella.

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