No one can say Wal-Mart doesn’t have Klass.

I found the Klass at Wal-Mart.

Once in awhile, it’s fun to go to Wal-Mart to just look around and see what weird products one can find. Last night was one of these times. I went to Wal-Mart with my boyfriend and we walked around for a good hour or so. Probably the best thing we found was a Blu Ray combo pack with Groundhog Day and So I Married an Axe Murderer. That came home with us.

This is my version of People of Wal-Mart, but with less butt cheeks and mullets and more oddly named products.

Caution: These photos aren’t the greatest. I took them with my phone.

Is it too much to ask to have the word “cleanse” spelled properly? I just don’t feel comfortable using a product that feels it has to take shortcuts.

Hobbit name or extract? You make the call.

That’s right folks, it’s Mrs. Leeper’s Last Chance Chicken Alfredo. Before you jump off that ledge, make sure you try Mrs. Leeper’s Pass the Pills Penne Pasta. You’ll die, it’s so good!

How they got the chicken in the “biskit,” I will never know. How they got their adorable chicken mascot into my heart, I don’t care … but I will be eternally grateful. (Doesn’t that chicken look so jubilant? Sometimes I imagine it’s the Grand Queen Chicken, and she’s showing the world her wares. She’s saying, “Look at my biskets! I made them for you!”)

And I thought Wal-Mart was family friendly. Hmph. If Big John can flaunt his pickled sausage, I’m going to start selling my fried breasts. (What? They’re chicken breasts.)

Clever marketing here: this cat pad company has me convinced that if I use their product, my roommate’s cat will be able to control the litter scoop with its mind, thereby eliminating the need for us to scoop poop. Although, I hope this is the only thing the cat will be able to control with its mind … that kitty is weird enough as is.

Microfiber car wash mitts, so you can give your car the sensual massage it deserves.

Creepy Pokemon character stare down … GO!

This puppy is absolutely begging for your kids to run their greasy fingers through his soft chest hair.

Am I doing this wrong? It’s okay, you can tell me.

I love this card for so many reasons.

Look, I know it’s a bad pun. Irish Setter, “Sniff Me, I’m Irish,” har har har. But you don’t have to stick your gum on it.

So tell me: what’s the weirdest thing you’ve found at Wal-Mart?


15 responses to “No one can say Wal-Mart doesn’t have Klass.

  1. I haven’t tried to find weird stuff at WalMart. Now I feel the need. I’ll tell you about weird stuff at the Statesboro WalMart.

  2. The weirest thing I’ve found at Wal-Mart is always the people. However, I did once find a pooper scooper that proclaimed “NEVER LUG AROUND A BAGGIE AGAIN” but it was so large that it defied it’s own logic.

    But the absolute weirdest thing I found in any bargain store was this:

    • I’m imagining a pooper scooper used for picking up brontosaurus crap. Can you imagine the bags for that? You’d need three men to execute a clean pick-up. A scooper must be far more practical.

      I haven’t seen an old man throw up in a Big Lots, but I once witnessed an old lady pick her nose and wipe it on a suitcase at Goodwill.

  3. I like to go there too … just to roam around and look. Much more fun than Costco.

    I’ll think of the weirdest thing … there are oodles of them.

    • Costco is better for having a free lunch by touring their sample carts.

      • That’s true, but one’s got to know how to choose the right day. Today wasn’t a good day — only one place, and it was some kind of yoghurt drink … Activia or whatever..

      • I find the weekend is the best time for free Costco lunch. They have to have the best weekend sample carts of any of the big box stores. Sometimes the food is sketchy, but hey, you can always just go to the café and get a hot dog for $1. Now if only I could find someone with a membership so I don’t have to sneak in anymore….

      • Friday, I think is a good day, but we’re getting freezing rain tomorrow… They give out lots of good stuff that I wouldn’t have tried otherwise. Last week they had some type of stuffed jalapeño, it was cheese inside it and I tell you … it was sinful! 🙂

        About the membership: Isn’t Costco a strange place … They have people standing there, checking your card when you walk IN there, then you get checked again when you’re going OUT. Isn’t that a little overly hysterical?! Here they have this little bossy woman, directing people which check-out to go to … I feel like I was in a Seinfeld episode: «NO soup for YOU! Come back … ONE year!»

  4. Hold the phone – have you tried Chickin in a biskit? I loved those crackers! They are – wait for it – finger lickin’ good!

    The pictures were great. I don’t shop at WalMart if I can avoid it, because the stores depress me. I may have to try a ‘crazy stuff’ trip to change my perspective.

    • I have tried Chicken in a Bisket, and I must say, the Grand Queen Chicken makes one amazing snack cracker.

      Really, the only reason I shop at Wal-Mart anymore is if I just want to find weird things or my boyfriend has gas. If he has gas, we’re afraid to go to Target; it’s just too classy for that kind of nonsense. We stinkers visit Wal-Mart.

  5. Hilarious! One of my dogs is having some serious gas issues tonight. Perhaps I should take him to Wal-Mart.

  6. I used to live next door to one of the majority owners of Wal-Mart. His estate butted up next to a college apartment complex. We used to always hop the fence and steal beer from his big parties. Never saw pickled sausage or chicken in a biscuit at those parties, though.

  7. These are fantastic! Thanks for the laugh today.

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