Randall wins.


I’m having another sleepless night, as I’m wont to do. Patrick of course is sleeping soundly in front of the television with his cow. Yes, seriously. We’re watching An Idiot Abroad.

Patrick loves his cow.

And of course, what would a late night/early morning post be without a picture of me looking sleepless and forlorn?

Sweet kiss of sleep, rain your blessings down upon me.

Ugh. That caption makes no sense.

In an effort to make my brain work and try to get a bit tired, I opened up the blog for suggestions again via Facebook. Randall suggested I start a petition to bring back old cartoons. I definitely dig this idea, but I know there are a lot of places online with these petitions already, so I’m going to tell you about my favorite cartoons from when I was a kid.

**cheerleader arms** Ready? Okay!

Let’s start with Rocko’s Modern Life, since it’s basically the epitome of Nickelodeon shows. The first time I watched Rocko and his pals farting around their hometown, I was hooked.

However, it was only watching it later and with a bit of life experience that I began to really notice all the veiled humor. RML (yeah, we abbreviate greatness ’round these parts) makes constant references to masturbation. And it’s not like you really have to think about it, either. Let’s examine one.

What always stands out in my mind is Heffer’s favorite restaurant, the Chokey Chicken. It’s just wrong when you think about it. The best part is that you know behind the scenes, the writers and animators were all snickering and elbowing each other. I picture the pitch meeting for the first episode where the restaurant is introduced as including a lot of effort to not just laugh in the faces of the Nickelodeon execs.

The Chokey Chicken was renamed the Chewy Chicken sometime later in the series. I’m sure this happened because parents were sending in letters (this was before e-mail) saying how inappropriate it was, and whatever genius from Nick that gave that name the green light was probably thoroughly flogged (unfortunately; in my opinion a statue should be erected in his or her honor).

Check out this scene I found that was later cut from the episode.

“You want room whole night?” Hah! Totally a reference to prostitution and one night stands. That Rocko, he just slays me.

I also love Conglom-O, the great corporate overlords of Rocko’s life. Their motto was “We Own You” or something crazy and very 1984 like that. And does anyone remember the martini glass on top of the Conglom-O building? I didn’t get that until I was 14.

Next favorite cartoon from when I was a kid: Animaniacs. Can I get a one-handed clap for my friends Yakko, Wakko and Dot? Are you clapping? … Okay, you can stop now, you look ridiculous.

I watched that show every day in elementary school. The entire show was built around puns and stereotypes, but laughing at animated pain never felt so incredible. The Goodfeathers were so awesome. Those pigeons could pull off anything.

That bit taught me the countries of the world. If only my brain weren’t fried from college I could actually remember them all. I can’t even remember the nine Supreme Court Justices. I can’t even remember to take a garbage bag out of my room … seriously, it’s been sitting there for about a week and a half now.

I’m actually starting to get tired, so we’re going to wrap this up with one last favorite: The Simpsons. I shouldn’t even have to include a link to the Wikipedia page. You should just know.

And please understand that I’m not talking about the Simpsons as they are today. Our favorite American family isn’t at their peak now. The best episodes are in the first decade, back when I would sit with my sister and watch the show while my mom yelled at us from the other room to do something more productive with our time.

There was a point in my life where it was a life goal to voice a character on the Simpsons. When we first started watching it, my mom saw the adult themes and humor and tried to occupy our thoughts with other things. She would usually ask us to finish our homework, but she had to start getting more creative when we got smarter, so the distractions started to get more fun.

“Hey girls, let’s make our own play doh!”

“Who wants to make ice cream sundaes?!”

“How would you guys like to go outside and make a snowman?!”

Eventually, I think she just kind of gave up when she realized that the Simpsons is a classically great show. Or at least it was. Sometimes it’s still funny, but ever since they put out the movie I’ve been disappointed. I’m just a Simpsons purist.

Here’s an added bonus, since I was starting to feel tired but I’m not anymore:

One of the first commercials for Family Guy featured Peter pulling up to a fast food place and ordering “six thousand chicken fa-gitas.”

My mom was outraged. She didn’t want us to watch … but we did. That’s right, young’uns, I watched the first episode of Family Guy when it aired, before it was resurrected by Adult Swim.

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3 responses to “Randall wins.

  1. Wow top post, brought back many memories Animaniacs and Rocko’s modern life awesome shows. Did you ever watch a show called Stressed Eric?

  2. Pingback: Reading Digest: Robot Apocalypse Edition « Dead Homer Society

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