Idaho? You da ho!


I was looking through the Daily Post again, and they had this topic suggestion: “What’s something you never believed until you experienced it?”

I can’t say I’ve never flat out said that there’s anything in which I don’t believe. It’s just not fair. As a Christian, I understand the importance of having faith, so I never completely rule out anything.

However…

I do have difficulty believing in Idaho. It’s a state shaped like an upside down “P,” and apparently it’s covered in trees. How can a state like that survive? Plus, I’ve never met anyone from Idaho.

How about this: if you are in Idaho or you have lived there, send me a photo in front of something proving you’re in Idaho. I don’t know how that’s possible, but you can make it happen I’m sure. Take a photo with you and a potato in front of a “Welcome to Idaho!” sign.

Or find the governor of Idaho and have him send me a signed, dated, notarized letter indicating that Idaho does indeed exist. (It must be notarized, because then if I find out later that Idaho doesn’t exist, the governor of Idaho can be arrested for perjury.)

Okay … I just looked up the governor of Idaho, and now I am convinced this state does not actually exist.

The man’s name is — brace yourself — C.L. “Butch” Otter.

**snicker**

“Butch Otter”? They’re kidding, right? There is no way any self-respecting man would allow himself to be called “Butch” when his last name is “Otter.” No way. He doesn’t exist.

And can someone please explain to me how they got every single cowboy hat-wearing canned family member from the Wal-Mart picture frames into the main photo on their page?

The Otter family.

There is no way those people are all related. They’re all too beautiful, and their dogs are too cute. Look at the cheeky smile on that black dog. He has his tongue out like he’s just soooo happy to be in Idaho. Well guess what, little buddy? Idaho doesn’t exist.

Now what you might ask me is this: why would someone invent a fake state? Simple answer: round numbers and potatoes.

No one wants to be part of a country with only 42 states. The government at the time clearly saw this even number as a weakness. The solution? Boom: create another state in the union. They shouldn’t call July 3, 1890 the year Idaho became a state; they should call it the year the U.S. started a giant lie.

I mean, let’s examine this. Idaho was added, then Wyoming was added a little more than a month later. I’m sure once they got to Hawaii, everyone said, “Fifty states is just too nice. We can’t renege and tell everyone Idaho doesn’t exist now. Then we’d be back down to 49 and Puerto Rico would have us in a strange hold.”

As for the potatoes, you’ve never heard a phrase so perfectly rounded as “Idaho potatoes.” Both words end with that hard “O” sound. Wyoming potatoes? No. Alabama potatoes? Ew, gross. Massachusetts potatoes? Talk about a tongue twister! But Idaho potatoes? Now that is sweet, sweet music to my ears.

So tell me, Idahoans: why should I believe in your “state,” when clearly the proof stands against it?

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8 responses to “Idaho? You da ho!

  1. *LMAO* this is hilarious!!!

    It reminded me of an episode of Boston Legal, where Nantucket wanted to become a country of its own and get nuclear arms..

    • I never watched Boston Legal, but that definitely makes me want to look up that episode. I wonder if it’s on Hulu.

      • Boston Legal was one of the best shows I’ve seen. It had it all, humor most of all, but each episode brought up a current, serious issue too. James Spader’s final pleadings were SO good and well-written, it was unbelievable.

        Wouldn’t know about Hulu, I’m in Canada… we can’t watch that.

  2. Whoa. Now that you mention it, I’ve never met anyone from Idaho either. Maybe you’re on to something.

    Now my head hurts.

    (Fun post!)

  3. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Boise-Idaho/65319079984
    idaho is a whole lot like the north pole, your pretty sure you know its there. but you dont care enough to plan on finding out for sure. im an idahoan and trust me we wish it didnt exist some times. haha

  4. Wait if Idaho doesn’t exist. WHERE AM I!!

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