Here are the search terms that referred people to my blog this week:
- possum sitting (Aw!)
- mom and baby possum (Double aw!)
- ethel loves him + cartoon
- wordpress ethel (Someone searched for me! Someone knows I exist!)
- who wrote the hey song (Gary Glitter. Duh.)
- i’m wide awake, it’s morning wordpress his mother mom stroke relationship young college life (Wha?)
- claiming to give 110 percent (Those 110 percent-ers. Oh, those silly geese.)
- baby girl possum (Lots of possum searches, huh?)
- never give 110 percent (Of course, “never give 110 percent.” You never give 110 percent because it’s humanly impossible. But hopefully that person read my post and understands that now.)
- is there such thing as 110 percent (No.)
- do dead possums explode (…)
Okay, let’s dwell on that last one for a moment. Someone somewhere is sitting in their house, either in front of a computer or with a cell phone in hand, and suddenly he or she just happens to wonder, “Do dead possums explode?”
Hmm, let’s see.
Does the dead possum have any large, open wounds, either from an animal or motor vehicle impact? If the dead possum has a large wound, this may prevent the explosion.
Did you try shoving a stick of dynamite inside of the dead possum? Although this isn’t the most natural way to make your dead possum explode, it sure does the trick.
Did you try putting the dead possum in the microwave? I’ve heard that certain things will explode when placed in a microwave. Maybe the same holds true for a dead possum.
One last suggestion on how to test the explosiveness of a dead possum: jump on it. If it’s been decaying for awhile, there may be gases built up inside of it. If you jump on it, it may detonate the gases, causing an explosion. (Just make sure to wear your galoshes.)
I hope you all aren’t taking me seriously. I would never want someone to blow up a possum.