Clichés are getting old.


“Expect the unexpected”? What does that even mean? Once you expect something, it instantly makes it expected, regardless of whether or not you know exactly what is coming. The fact of the matter is, you alter the unexpected immediately with your expecting. Good job. You’ve ruined the surprise for everyone.

I saw this on a Facebook profile for someone who will remain nameless. It was one of this person’s status updates. If you are that person, and you are reading this now, and your face is beginning to feel really hot because it’s flushed because you hate me now, read this and know that when people utter mindless clichés without first considering the implications of their actions, everyone loses.

While we’re on the topic of annoying things, I’m sure everyone else has noticed how obnoxious the new version of chain letter has become.

You know what I mean: you log on to Facebook, and one of your friends has posted something like this:

“Every day, 5,984 children die of gonorrhea. You could die of gonorrhea too, if you had it. Studies show that 90 percent of people on Facebook will not repost this, so prove those studies wrong. Re-post as your status to prove you care about children.”

Holy God. Really?

When I log on to Facebook, I do so to play Family Feud and have meaningless conversations with people I barely know. I also like to look at pictures of people and try to guess how many photos were taken while intoxicated.

But I do not want to get a guilt trip about little kids with gonorrhea.

There are also the people who think they are making a statement by posting something like this:

“In the next 24 hours, 9,371 people will die as a result of dragon attacks. Do your part: spread dragon awareness and re-post this as your status.”

I get it. It’s supposed to be ironic, right? Well, it’s not. It’s annoying. I remember the first time I saw that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.

Perhaps the most annoying part of this trend is how horrible it makes me feel. I want to help small children with gonorrhea and men who are being eaten by dragons, but I can’t do anything except re-post a stupid status update? At least give me a link to a charity.

It also bothers me that I’m so cynical about it, but I guess after having to do mandatory volunteer work while in college (not because I was in trouble; it was required of all students) I understand how actually getting out and doing something will make an impact.

Also, what’s the deal with pants? Why do we have to wear them? So annoying, right?

What’s the most annoying thing you see on Facebook? Tell me about it, and perhaps I’ll try to come up with something funny in response.

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One response to “Clichés are getting old.

  1. i totally agree with you!! i don’t see how reposting a status really helps anyone anywhere! yay! now everyone knows that people get bullied… i think if you don’t know, you were never a child at all… HELLO!

    the second funniest slash most annoying thing on facebook is the “Someone answered a question about you! UNLOCKED IT NOW!” gah!

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