I recently have taken to marking my things. Ever since I was at the gym yesterday and some woman tried to pick up my water bottle and walk away, I realized the importance of making sure everyone knows that my possessions belong to me.
How do I do this?
I lick things.
If you come by and try to take my water bottle, I’ll lick it. Then you won’t want to touch it.
This morning, Peter tried to trick me and say he gave me the wrong coffee. I licked it, and told him he wouldn’t want it back.
I think this morning when I go out to my car, I’ll lick it, and then rapscallions won’t try to steal it.
I also am fairly certain I need to lick my DVDs and CDs before I lend them to people. That way I’m sure to get them back.