Lord, I’m Discouraged.


Sometimes I think Cherita Chen from Donnie Darko had it right: wear earmuffs everywhere you go to muffle out the sounds of humanity’s stupidity and ruthlessness.

I keep praying for my heart to be eased, for guidance in so many areas, for a happy spirit. I smile because I’ve had people tell me I’m prettier when I smile, or they like me better when I smile. I smile because there are people who don’t want to listen to me when I have a burden on my heart, and have told me in the past that I need to calm down because it upsets them. It’s not just one person telling me this. If I’ve had a hard day, I need to vent without a judgmental face sitting across from me.

I feel like I need a change. I need to get away for a while. There must be someplace where I can go and no one will know who I am, and I can be alone to think about everything that is happening in my life. So much is happening very quickly. There are things going downhill and things going up, but nothing is happening the way I expect it to.

All I can do is pray, hope for change, and keep remembering that everything has significance.

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